Yesterday I Cried...

As of tomorrow, we've got 5 weeks until Baby Buck #6 is due.  All of my pregnancies have been "easy".  Very textbook.  Someone asked me yesterday if I was excited this would be the last time I'd feel this way.  I told her a I was a little sad this was the last time I'd feel this way.  I mean, it's tiring, but at the same time I love it.  I'd say of all my pregnancies, though, this one has maybe been the easiest?  There's a selfish piece of me (well, I suppose each of the sides here are selfish) that is ready to have my body back to myself and back to "normal", whatever that is.  There's another side of me that just absolutely can't wait to meet this baby, find out if it's a girl or boy, and welcome him/her into the family.  But there's another side of me that gets sad when I feel this baby move because I know I'm saying goodbye to that incredible feeling soon.  There is nothing like feeling your baby move inside, and having this secret little relationship that's just the two of you that most of the time no one else knows about.  It's our sweet little special secret.  Pregnancy isn't easy, but I am immensely grateful for being able to carry such an undescribable blessing 6 times!  There's still another side of me that cried yesterday (and is a little bit even now) because I counted the days Jake has left in preschool...the days I have left just me and my Baby Will.  Every time I've gone to the hospital to deliver, except with John of course, I've cried as I've said goodbye to the baby for the last time that they'll be the baby.  Maybe all of this is just hormones, but honestly I think at least some of it is real.  Saying goodbye to each stage is both exciting and a little sad.  "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."  (-Dan Wilson)